Raya's Entry

Selamat Hari Raya first of all. Maaf diatas kelewatan post entri pasal raya tahun ini, memandangkan raya ini sangat sibuk, menghadiri rumah terbuka selama seminggu berturut-turut dan sibuk kerana tahun ini open house aku selama 4 hari. Fuh! amat meletihkan. aku tidak mempunyai sebarang idea untuk ditulis dalam post kali ini, cuma aku ingin upload gambar raya sahaja. 

Pictures with: Cousins, && Besties. 

Sekian. Malas nak upload banyak banyak. ;D

Died

Entri kali ini sebenarnya aku memang tidak tahu nak tulis pasal apa, pasal siapa or bila. Just tiba-tiba aku rasa aku kena buat blog baru memandangkan ada segelintir manusia yang sangat bagus, manusia yang belajar tinggi, tapi susah nak terima kenyataan, telah menulis sedikit sebanyak tentang aku. Ada aku kisah ? AHAHA. Macam lah aku ni jenis yang tidak reti membaca dan tidak mampu menulis tentang kau wahai si cerdik pandai. Ye, dulu memang segala benda aku kongsi dengan kau, dari isi keluarga aku, sehinggalah ke kisah hidup aku. Erk, maksud aku, kisah tentang siapa buah hati aku. Tetapi, pernah tak kau terfikir, kadang- kadang aku juga memerlukan sedikit ruang untuk bersendiri ? Oh, seperti mana kau juga. Aku rasa lah, tetapi lain lah kalau kau jenis yang suka mencanang semua cerita tentang kau. Oh, sesungguhnya aku bukanlah macam itu. Bukan semua cerita, kisah aku akan ceritakan pada kau. Termasuklah masalah aku dengan buah hati aku walaupun kau lah antara manusia pertama yang tahu cerita tentang perkara terbaru berkaitan hidup aku. Tetapi, kau jangan pernah fikir yang segalanya akan aku ceritakan pada kau, kerana aku makin lama makin tidak selesa dengan cara kau.  Aku diam sehari dua, atau mungkin berminggu, kau sudah fikir macam-macam, aku tidak ingin berkawan dengan kau lah, aku marah kau lah. Sesungguhnya, cara kau itu bukan menunjukkan yang kau ambil berat tentang aku, tetapi itu adalah suatu yang sangat merimaskan aku. 

Untuk terakhir kalinya, aku tidak lagi menganggap kau sebagai seorang yang bernama sahabat. 

ENGKAU !

Sila Pergi Jauh Jauh Okay. Jangan Nak Menyibuk !

Mine honour is my life; both grow in one; take honour from me and my life is done.

Yes, she did it. she already took my honour and completed my life also thanks God for giving me a girl named Nur Adilah Mohd Nordin and i do love her so much. & i will always here for her, plus, i will take a good care on her, Your beautifull and a great creature. yes, i will. That's my promise to You, God. And do bless us, bless our relationship. No boundaries between us although each of us stay away for a thousand miles, that will not be a matter to us. Because, we always put our believe to God, and on our shoulder.

* I'm Smiling. With A Big Big Smile. *

Insomaniac

I laid on a bed
Flashes of memory I regreted before
Faces that I can't forget
They all looked like bloody red

There's something in my head
Things that you don't get
It's eating my neurons like evil RAT

Like how I see some people are better "dead"
0r how i use their head as shooting target
It's soo B A D

I'm scared. yes. i do.

What A Coarse Joke.

My dad borrowed my lappy to do his work at house courtyard, while his lappy repaired. Then, after 2 hours, he walked into the house. now, my turn to online. but when we walk aside he said something to me.

Dad: Tadi ado bunyi sreshh sreshh luar tu. dop tau la gapo (Tadi ada bunyi sreshh sreshh kat luar tuh. tapi taktau lah apa bendanya)

Me: hah?! bunyi gapo? yo ko? (hah? Bunyi apa? Betul ke?)

Dad: Abah raso ado mayak jale luar tu. aboh napok mace ado bendo jale jah luar tuh. mugo tadi rumoh sebeloh tuh ado ore mati. (abah rasa ada mayat berjalan kat luar tu. abah nampak macam ada benda je berjalan kat luar tu. sebab tadi kat rumah sebelah tuh ada orang meninggal.)


Then, I turned back into the house. and ask my brother to get me the lappy at the house courtyard. my dad hearty-laughtered at me when he saw my face's expression. scared. yes. i do. Not just my dad laughed at me, but so do with my two brothers. fuck. what-the-hell. u think this is a joking at 2.02am?

But, is it true what my father's word that he saw something out there?
So confusing.






*Blur*

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

He's looking hot, looked like an educated boy,  but he's just like other guy out there. nothing special to him. ouh. there is one special about him. sweet. that shows from his act. really good in treating peoples even that was a just first-time-date. AHAHA.

 

The way he treated peoples, im not really sure. but some stories what i've heard about his-sweet-act was like being naughty towards those peoples. kissing their hands, play with their hair and be soo nice. that was looked like a slut.

I am not trying to judge him through his act toward others. but, i did not expecting him do such things even no one knows what kind of people he tried to be. everyone like him. but, don't judge a book by its cover. nothing is perfect. he looked hot almost every single of his photos. looked like a good boy. but now, good boy gone bad. AHAHAHAH.

Shame on u lah.

That Shirt So Wrong Lah!

Fashionista always said that if you are chubby or fattie in my own word, never ever try to wear horizontal strips shirt. Except you want to look fater than usual. And also for skinny type, be away from wearing a vertical strips shirt or you will look like 'kerangka'. AHAHA.


Here, i am nobody to talk about fashion but it was a funny thing. There is a guy name K** in myspace. He added me to be one of my friends, but he never greet me or even say thank for approved his friend's request.

When i was looking around to deleting stupid or in other word, 'belagak' peeps in my friends list, i saw his picture. Look nice and just okay, he's not HOT at all. But he's never say thank for accepted him. But, Im Ayyman. Ayyman Tak Kesah. So, do i care?. i wanted to delete him, but before that i saw his picture's album first. AHAHAH. Shame on me ryte?.


And, there is a picture that attractived me, at first lah, (picture at above is just an example) then i read all the comments from his friends. And and, about 3 peoples said that he is now look fat or chubby even in this fasting month. :) and as you know, trick to increase picture's comment is, post by ourself or in a better phrase, replying picture's comments. AHAHAHA. yes, i do that too. ;) just for fun. Ahaahah.

He replied, "Baju tuh jalur melintang lah! Sebab tuh nampak gemok".


ahah. tell me what? ;))

Totally Dumped.

I just read this guy's blog. He wroted something about our old messagging-conversation. This fucking matter actually happened about a year ago. but i still keep thinking. probably, about this matter. Shit! How could this happen? Ayyman, be strong. forget him. he is just your old friend. nothing much to care about. ;|

my friends told me that the thing had happened for a long time ago. and that guy already forgot about this things out, perhaps. I have tried to appologized, but he never replied me, either my text or through my friend that might be his friend too. Actually, this is not something big matter but i knew that i'm guilty towards him. i have said something nonsense to him, i wish that is not me, myself sent those SMS. i am really regretted about what had happened a year ago. my friends also told me to ignored that guy if he still refuse to answers me. but, i really want to tell him that i am really sorry for what i have done to you. maybe on that time, i am still un-matured and really can't see and think about adults matter.

And also, I read his friend's comments. mostly, they said that i'm a desperate one. i agree with them. maybe that moment i really desperated. and that is why i sent him those nonsense text. and here, i have accepted that i was wrong. just i hope, forgive me for what i have done to you before. if you never want me to be your friend like a year ago, it is okey. i understand that. but, just one thing i would like to know, do you appologized me?

Please, answer me. ;|

Facing Problems

My family && i moved on to kuala kangsar about a month ago. no more kelantan. but, hati aku still kat kelantan. i really dislike this kuala kangsar && environment here. so bored. i have no friends over here. i have no one beside my family.

I really want to go back to kelantan. i really missed everythings over there. friends, pasar ramadhan, terawih, everythings. but but, kalau aku balik sana, what about my family here? mungkin kalau aku balik beraya sana, mereka akan rasa lain, berbeda dari sebelumnya. tapi, aku memang tidak boleh hidup disini. tanpa seorang rakan, setiap hari, aku hanya berada dalam rumah, watch tv, tidur. how long this things will happen? aku memang tak boleh tahan. sangat membosankan.

Sekarang, aku memang tidak dapat berfikir samada aku patut stay sini atau balik kelantan. tapi, aku kalau boleh tidak mahu family aku terutama sekali mama && abah aku berkecil hati jika aku balik sana. Ini bukan bermakna aku tidak bersyukur kerana masih mempunyai ibubapa, just aku cuma belum boleh terima keadaan di tempat baru aku ni. Aku memang ingin sambut raya tahun ni or tahun depan, && kalau boleh sampai bila-bila, aku nak beraya bersama family aku. tapi, aku sesungguhnya tidak boleh tinggal sini dengan hanya duduk di rumah, tanpa berbuat apa-apa, tanpa keluar lepak-lepak dengan kawan-kawan && etc. sesungguhnya aku memang tidak boleh. tidak boleh!

Aku sangat bersyukur sebab kedua ibubapa aku masih ada bersama aku sehingga kini, kalau dibandingkan dengan orang lain yang telah kehilangan ibu atau bapa mereka mahupun kehilangan kedua-dua insan paling mulia, (Al-fatihah untuk mereka yang telah pergi meninggalkan kita) tapi keadaan memaksa aku. sampai bila harus aku bertahan dalam keadaan ini, sampai bila keadaan ini akan berlarutan?. aku memang tidak tahu. tapi aku hanya mampu berdoa dengan harapan semua ini akan berlalu dengan pantas. aku tidak sanggup lagi duduk dalam keadaan yang sangat membosankan ini. :(